Raising children takes energy - so very much of it. Even at the ages of our kids(10,8,6) I still find myself so tired by the end of each day - this was something I thought would pass as they got older and I wasn't as "hands-on" like you are when they're babies or toddlers. But now the energy seems to be emotional - it's a constant guessing game about how they'll react to any given situation. The way I feel now reminds me of dealing with three male egos on a construction job three years ago. At that time I complained to Dave, "You, I can handle. But these other three guys - all with their egos that need to be stroked and it's just too much." Since then I've found two other contractors who are wonderful to work with and don't need a constant ego boost. But, I can't change out our kids, nor would I actually want to.
But I guess I need to mellow out and not take life so seriously. For example, last night I was exhausted and Dave was out of town. The kids were seriously messing around at the dinner table so after numerous warnings, I put them in bed at 6:30. Their homework didn't get done and no reading got done. This morning Sophie woke me up and told me Lucy was downstairs crying because she didn't think she could get her spelling homework done before school started. I went down and cuddled with Lucy until she wasn't so sad and assured her she'd get her spelling done. By this time it was 7:24 and first bell rings at 8:05 - important information to remember. Sophie was starting to make muffins - since she was just starting and they take 14-16 minutes to bake I told her it was too late for muffins. She was then in tears and had a dancing fit, yelling about how whenever she tries to help I don't appreciate it, and ran into the other room. I ignored her for about five minutes and then called her in to eat - she was then fine. As we're eating John started crying about something - I think it was that he forgot what he was going to say when one of the girls interrupted him. I was getting pretty irritated by now - but instead of yelling I said, "OK, now we're three for three with all of you crying. Should I cry now?" And I pretended to cry... getting a big laugh out of everyone. There weren't any more tears, Lucy got her homework done, a book got read and the kids got to school on time. Not bad for a Thursday morning.
I've had all day to think about our morning and congratulate myself on how well it ended up being - no yelling on my part at all. But, the cycle starts again in 45 mintues when I pick them up from school. How will they be this afternoon? I never know until I see them on the playground... oh, the energy it takes.
I am with you, sister. Jon was gone for three weekends (17 days!!!) and I nearly went insane. The kids are always fighting, needing things, crying, and can never be happy with any given activity for more than five minutes.
ReplyDeleteWhen Dave is gone, just do the best you can. Serve them frozen pizza or McDonalds. Or frozen waffles. Or hot dogs. You can't do it all. You really can't. Three kids take up so my energy, you need to give yourself a break and really only do the things you absolutely well. It's hard for creative high-achievers like us. But I cut my list down considerably. Still, my days are 12+ hours long. And my kids are in NO activities.
Congrats on not yelling this morning. I would have raised the roof on the mother f-r.
Hello Marcy, I am Edmundo. We met in Cancun a few years ago. Alicia and I just received your family Xmas letter and we enjoyed it very much. Thanks for the picture, your kids look terrific! Congrats on your esay, it was also very enjoyable. Could you tell Dave to drop me a note by e-mail? We'd like to get back in touch with you all up north! Best regards, edmundo.perez@integrahightech.com
ReplyDeleteI can so, so relate. This whole scene could have happened in my house any day except on a more "little kids" scale. In fact it feels good just to hear someone put this into words. Kids are so exhausting, and you've hit it right on the nose . . . they are relentlessly unpredictable. It is mass chaos here ALL the time. And the second I let my guard down because things seem to be going OK for a few minutes things immediately spiral out of control. It's amazing there are so many different ways for things to actually turn into chaos. And it is so tiring! I've slept more in the last 2 years than I ever have since infancy, I'm certain. The more tired I am, it seems, the more I loose it even though I try not to.
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't it strange how the addition or subraction of just one person in the family mix changes everything . . . for better or worse (ex: husband home, husband not home, husband takes one child with him for the afternoon, etc.)