Grateful

A few months ago I wrote a blog entry about needing a break - and feeling like there wasn't one anywhere in sight. But you know what, I reread that entry tonight and thought about all that has happened and realized I'm actually very, very lucky. You see, I may not be at the spot where I thought I would be a year ago - and it still may not be the best spot to be in... but it is a spot right here in this universe and I occupy it.

I occupy it with Dave and our three kids - all who have shown nothing but resilency over the past six months. During this time we've all found it hard to understand Dave's actions - but we've been strengthened by his attitude, his honesty and his sense of responsibility for what he did. The kids have shown anger and disappointment - but they've also shown such a deep sense of caring for him, me and one another. It's been a light in this tunnel.

I occupy the space with the spirit of Roberta, Dave's sister. She died in November after a brilliant fight with leukemia and was there for her children and family in a way that I can only hope to emulate. Throughout her own deep struggles, she spoke with Dave on an almost daily basis. When she was first diagnosed, it was Dave calling Roberta and helping her laugh but during her last few months, she showed empathy and compassion for his struggles in a way that only a big sister can do.

I occupy the space with my family - they have supported us in such a marvelous way. Each in their own way, in their own style - but all with caring and grace. Thank you for loving me (and all of us).

I occupy the space with our friends and friends of friends - all those who came over when we were getting the houses ready for sale - some armed with ladders, plaster, boxes, paintbrushes, cleaning supplies, cameras - and some armed with skills of organization, staging, and creativity. If you ever need to get two houses ready for sale in less than a week - I know just the team to do it. (The head of which would be a lady named Theresa.) There are people still helping in so many ways - and I'm so thankful for them. And then there's those few that I call upon to just hear me out and let me cry - not try to fix anything, not telling me that things could be worse, but just listening until I'm done with that particular outburst and am ready to move on.

I occupy the space with an acquaintance named Jeanne who has troubles of her own yet found the time and energy to support me. I often came home from work or the job hunt to find a cup of coffee, a monster chocolate bar or gift card to the grocery store. I like to call her my "angel" - so unselfish and giving.

I occupy the space with our priests - and priest-to-be. We are basically of two parishes but our priests have all helped us get through this time. I've so enjoyed our time with them - sharing, praying, reading from the Bible, playing Farkle, and eating blueberry cobbler or chicken dumplings.

And I occupy the space with my SPED people - my coworkers, my supervisors, and my professors. They have welcomed me in so many wonderful ways - with their smiles, their humor, their "let's get it done" attitude, and of course, with caramel rolls and treats. My special ed team really has got to be one of the bests - they listen, they laugh, and even, occassionally roll their eyes at me. (Which I do take as a compliment.) Some days I feel like I have my own IEP and they all have a role in carrying it out - they are THAT good to me.

Every day poses its own set of challenges - but it also poses new opportunities. Hasn't somebody said that before??!?! In thinking about this and writing, I find I am supported and am so very thankful.