What Kind of Holiday Food Am I?

You Are a Gingerbread House

A little spicy and a little sweet, anyone would like to be lost in the woods with you.

Take your own quiz here.

Remembering Mavis via a Christmas Ornament

Even though the ears broke off this ornament a few days ago, I just can't bring myself to put it in the garbage. Which is quite silly of course - the sides of the reindeer's head are jagged glass and someone is bound to cut him/herself on it. But it was a gift from my friend Mavis - back in 1997, when Sophie was six months old and we didn't have any ornaments to decorate the tree because they were all lost in the flood.

I'm actually not very sentimental anymore - and I can thank the flood for that. It isn't that the only time I think of Mavis is when I see Mr. Reindeer- no, she's around in my thoughts at quite random times - like when I toast homemade bread and spread it with butter and cinnamon sugar, or when I see any sort of math manipulative, or even when I cook spiral rotini noodles. It's not that I can't put it in the garbage because of those sentimental reasons.

It's because of the eyes on the reindeer - they look just like Mavis' eyes - except that hers were a startling color of blue. The eyes must have the same shape, maybe eyelashes... I'm not sure. But everytime I go to put Mr. Reindeer in the garbage, I look at those eyes and think of Mavis... and I can't do it. They remind me too much of her - and she's no longer here on Earth to see. So, maybe someday down the road I'll nick my hand on the ornament. But for now it's here to stay - a special ornament from a special friend.

Cooking with Onions

I never cook with onions - Dave has an unusually strong aversion to them and even though I miss them I make do. Besides, when I eat Jon Jackson's meatballs with onions they taste all the better. Some times when I cook I'll add onion juice or onion powder to a recipe. Not tonight though - no way. Not after the day I've had. So here's supper - a sirloin roast with carrots, potatoes and onions!
P.S. Dave's in Texas so he won't have to eat them - but maybe he'll get some of the leftovers. ;)

Laundry Troubles...

After a week of cleaning, scraping and painting the basement laundry room and forgoing laundry duty I was excited to see the two grumpy men delivering our new washer and dryer last Friday. The deliverymen were unbelievably rude and crabby - and this after being 2 1/2 hours late in the delivery time. I won't go into it here but let's just say that I really believe that if Dave had been the one at home instead of me and the kids, they would have acted totally different. Maybe even (GASP!) a little courteous.

After they succeeded in getting the washer and dryer down the steps and setting it up they commented that a "cheap" part that holds the hose into the drain broke and I should get it fixed (see pic).

They then left with the words, "The dryer has been in the truck all day, it'll take a little while to heat up." I thought it was a strange remark but at the same time just wanted them to be gone. I got a load of laundry going (remember -we were without a w/d for an entire week - there was LOTS of laundry to do) and later on, when the same load was still damp after 1 1/2 hours in the dryer I became frustrated. It only got worse the next day when we realized there was, in fact, no heat whatsoever coming from the dryer. Finally, on Sunday I called the store and told them I needed a technician immediately.

The technician, Don, showed up today. From past experience I know he's a great guy and very helpful. It was no different today and he told me he thought the problem must have to do with the electricity so I then called an electrician. Russ came over and within a few minutes he came back upstairs and told me the problem was fixed - he'd plugged the dryer all the way into the 220 outlet.

I can't believe it; Don, I'm sure, can't believe it, and the store rep we were working with certainly couldn't believe it. We'd already had a long conversation about the two characters that delivered the set - but I'm sure he's had yet another one with them by now. He was wonderful though and immediately told me the store would pay for the electrician's bill when we get it. He then called Dave and apoligized to him as well.

I was just happy to having a working pair, thrilled in fact. I put in a load of laundry and couldn't wait to get it into the dryer - just to check things out. Imagine my surprise when I went to move the clothes to the dryer and this is what I saw in the laundry room: Apparently the hose that needed the cheap part came out of the drain and sprayed water all over the freshly painted floor.

I just cried, and then as I mopped up the floor and some of the new paint came bubbling off, I cried some more. Then when I moved the washer to dry out underneath it and the paint came right off in tracks, I cried even more. Throughout this whole ordeal I've gone through such a range of emotions - but the crying didn't come until today. Because, really, they did warn me about the cheap part so I'll take the blame for this one. But man, I'm ready for this to be over.

Kids and Decorating

Even as I've been thinking about painting instead of Christmas decorating, the kids have been decorating for me. Here's the tree in John's room - all decked out from top to bottom: a playmobil angel (albeit on its side) at the top and handmade decorations throughout. They're pretty sweet... the kids and their decorations.

A house project in late November... are we crazy?!?!

Yes. I think the answer is yes. But as with every other answer in the affirmative, there are reasons and justifications. You see our dryer is on the blink and this family of five really, really needs to have a working dryer. It's not like we didn't know this day was coming; three years ago when the dryer first began squealing like a pig when it started we got it fixed - to the tune of about $300. In other words, with the money spent repairing it we could have just bought a new one. We vowed not to make that mistake again - so for the last three years I've been researching washers and dryers, top loader vs. front loader, etc... so when the squealing started again we'd be ready.

That day came a few weeks ago and the brand new frontloader Maytag Epic will be delivered on Friday. But now we have to get the laundry room ready. There's my excuse for doing a house project in late November when I should be writing Christmas cards instead of painting. After lots of scraping and vacuuming (that's Dave going crazy with the vacuum) and 3 gallons of dry-lock waterproofing paint, I'm ready for the final coat - something called Vanillum - and then I'll paint the floor. It should be all dry and ready for Friday and the new washer and dryer.

Our laundry hamper will certainly be ready for help by then too.

Snow Tasting

Some people have wine tasting, some have chocolate, and others have tastings for wedding cake, but here on Belmont Road we taste the snow. P.S. There really were a few flakes (besides Dave and the kids) hanging out throughout the day today.

Christmas Quilt

When Mom figured out I was serious about quilting she suggested I try a rag quilt - she said they're pretty easy to do and you don't have to be so precise on your measurements. She's done quite a few of them and I love the look - the rag gives it such a well-loved, comfortable feel. Mom even had a pattern in mind, Oh Christmas Tree, that she wanted to try. So I found the pattern on the internet and ordered two of them from Saginaw Street Quilts. They came promptly and there the pattern sat, and sat, and sat... until two Tuesdays ago when I got started. And here's how far I am so far - stacks and stacks of 9" and 7 1/2" flannel squares interspersed with 5 1/2" squares of batting. It's been a whole lot of cutting and not any sewing up to this point. But the good news is... only 70 more batting squares to cut and then I can start sewing. Maybe the sewing machine will be whirring on Friday; but then again, the laundry room paint job is calling my name...

A new game for the season: Guess the Pie Dough Shape

...a game not all that different from the "Lay on your back in the grass, look to the blue sky and name the cloud shapes." This game is even better though because after you've named the shape on the pie dough you get to lather the dough in butter, sprinkle it with sugar and cinnamon, put it in the oven for a few minutes and after it cools, gobble it up. It's an awesome treat while you're waiting for the pumpkin pie to bake. While you're at it you could pick up the book, It Looked Like Spilt Milk, and read it to your kids.

By the way, we determined that this shape looks like the USA. What do you think?

Babies in the House

I awoke this morning to the sound of a cooing baby. No, it wasn't a dream; nor was it some kind of goofy premonition. It was actually the sound of two Chou Chou baby dolls that Grandma Bev gave to Sophie and Lucy years ago - it's just that Dave finally put the batteries back into them. When we got them John was just a few months old and the girls wanted (and badly needed) their own baby dolls to play with. The batteries went in initially but were soon disconnected. At that time one cooing, crying, hungry and softly breathing baby was enough in our chaotic household. But now that they're back, I kind of miss the sounds of a baby in the house. With that said, I just want to point out that nobody should be getting any ideas - it's not going to happen around here.

Back from Barcelona

Dave and I are back - and it feels "oh-so-good" to be home. Carmyn and the kids had a wonderful time while we were gone but I think we all feel better to be together again. This homemade sign welcomed us on our return. Notice Lucy's drawing in the bottom right-hand corner: "Family Flower of Five." How creative. You can just see the emergent writer in John with his writing of random words he knows - in, the at... and Sophie always loves to practice her cursive.

After the kids were in bed last night Rose, our babysitter, came so Dave and I could have dinner at the "happening" local restaurant in town with two other couples. (It was a date set over a month ago - long before the effect of jet lag was considered and certainly long before it hit us.) In honor of the beautiful fall night and all the walking we did in Spain Dave and I decided to stroll downtown. What with all six people and two dogs we saw on our walk it certainly wasn't Las Ramblas but it was nice to have space around us again. I swear that is what I dislike most about traveling - jostling crowds and the constant maneuvering around people.

My feet were hurting (I'd taken an earlier walk as well) so Dave walked back home with Margaret and Jon while I caught a ride (in Emmett's car seat) with Michelle and Paul. What a nice night though - great people, great food, and great surroundings. It is really good to be home.

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater......

On Sunday afternoon Lucy spent some time with her pal Maia. John and Sophie hung out with me as I stopped to pick up some pumpkins from a local pumpkin patch. We found lots of good ones for my apartment and the kids found some fun things to do there too. After dropping those at my place, Sophie, John, and I went to the park for the rest of the afternoon to explore and play. As you can see in the pics, these two got along great all afternoon. We're sorry Lucy had to miss it, but rumor has it she and Maia had a great day too and today she got to go on a school field trip to a pumpkin patch that included a hay ride, a corn maze, and everything.

Barcelona

Dave finished with his meetings yesterday and we went touring with Craig (NJ), Rick (FL), Brian (Ireland), Harley and Lorraine (NJ), and Steve, Mary and Alisha (TX).

We spent the better part of the afternoon at the Sagrada Familia and were astounded at the beauty of it. People were telling me that this place is how the term "gaudy" got its name - after the original architect, designer and builder of it but I just don't agree - it was beautiful even though the work is ongoing.


Remind me to get Fodor's tour book from now on - it had so much more information than my Frommer's. With Steve reading we got a nice explanation of the Passion Facade as well as the Nativity Facade. Our necks got sore as we peered up looking for the boat powered by Joseph and the Holy Spirit.

We then had our best meal (and according to everyone else, the best Sangria) in Barcelona at a little outdoor cafe across the street from the Sagrada Familia.

The Day the Lights Went Out in Dakota

So, our Saturday adventure began with a simple shower regimen in the morning. One after the other they were going to pop into the shower in the "upstairs bathroom" and so John was the first in line. I was scooting around in the kitchen putting away the breakfast dishes when suddenly everything shut off... the lights, the sounds. At first I thought it was a fuse but then we realized EVERYTHING was off... and that included the lights in the bathroom. Poor John was calling out... calmly with a bit of concern in his voice, "Ummm. Carmyn?" We found a flashlight and and directed it into the shower so he could see. Lucy and Sophie seemed to think a spotlight shower would work for them too. Hey, there's a first for everything. Thankfully the lights came back on a short time later.

In other news, the kids have been crafting and coloring and creating like crazy. First we painted pumpkins in the morning. Lucy even created a crown for her pumpkin princess. Sophie went for the traditional spooky black cat and John's creation had pictures all the way around with a blue stem. Go figure.


On the computer Sophie discovered coloring sheets for Halloween and she printed a few for John and before long all three of them were printing and coloring and cutting out pictures of vampires, bats, witches, pumpkins, and more. We now have enough to give one to everyone in Lucy's class and for me to take home and I think to decorate every bulletin board in their school! Okay, maybe that's exaggerating... but this seemed like endless entertainment, even if we did use a lot of paper.

Street Statues in Barcelona

The first day in Barcelona Lorraine and I wandered down Las Ramblas - the top of it is just a block away from our hotel and it's a leisurely one mile stroll down to the waterfront and the famous statue of Christopher Columbus (Mirador de Colon). The statue is beautiful - tall and full of intricate details but the joke is that he's supposedly pointing toward the New World. In fact, he is pointing the opposite way.

Along the walk there were at least twenty different "people" statues that came alive when people threw coins into the buckets at their feet. Lorraine threw a coin into the "pirate's" bucket and gave a jump and screech when he "Arraghhhed" her. Then he playfully put his sword to her neck for a picture.

The woman rolling the ball was absolutely beautiful to watch and the green troll was pretty fun too - he was a ham for the crowd.

I've been up and down Las Ramblas quite a few times by now - both during the day and at night. I'll just say it's quite a different experience during the evening hours - quite a different experience.

Please Mr. Postman

Lucy got a letter from her friend in the mail on Friday and immediately found some paper and an envelope and began to respond. She thought for a second... how do you start a letter? Oh yeah... Dear... And then she proceeded to ask me how to spell what had to be EVERY word in the letter. It was fun to show her how to address the envelope and it really brought me back to the days before email when I was a kid and all my friends and I used to correspond by mail. Ahhh.... I love real mail. And I love that it's still in vogue. At least among the 2nd graders of the world.

And the Beat Goes On....

On Thursday after school we watched a Scooby Doo episode featuring Sonny and Cher, as a honeymooning celebrity couple. Sophie asked me who are Sonny and Cher? And I tried to answer her and explain they sang one of my favorite songs, "I Got You, Babe." She responded by asking which one was MOST famous. I said that Cher had a longer musical career or maybe just a better known one and that Sonny became mayor of Palm Springs, California. Sophie said she figured as much since Cher was so bossy and they made Sonny seem like he was doing everything wrong. I asked her if she'd ever heard a song by Cher and then I burst into a rousing "If I could turn back time.... if I could find a way" and Sophie stared at me and then paid me the best compliment I've had in a long time. "Wow, YOU could be a singer." Yup. Me and Cher...

Science in the Tub

While mom and dad are soaking up the Mediterranean air, enjoying sangria and paella in Barcelona, the kids and I are taking in our usual fare of Parmesan noodles and so forth.

Last night John entertained Lucy and me with his science experiment that demonstrated that air exists or something profound like that. He wadded up a big of napkin into the bottom of a plastic cup and then pushed it straight down to the bottom of the tub. When he removed the glass the napkin was ... drum roll please.. dry. It was DRY! That's because there was air inside that got trapped and kept it dry, but if he turned the cup at all you could see the air escape and sure enough... that napkin was WET when he removed the cup.

Unfortunately I didn't stress how important it was to remove the wet napkins and tissues he'd used from the bathwater and so it was full of partially dissolved bits of wet paper by the time John emerged from the bath.

Starting a new quilt...

and here it is all cut out - just waiting to be sewn together. My first quilt, on the other hand, still needs to be finished. I tore out the binding yesterday as I did it the opposite way I was supposed to. Ooops. It'll have to wait until we get back from Barcelona to finish it. But in the meantime, Halloween is right around the corner. Let's hope the Halloween one gets up on the wall before October 31st.

Weekly Quilt Update

Just look at this quilt top (just not too closely) - week three and I'm still loving this hobby!

Quilting Update

We were welcomed back to the quilting store last week with a cheery, "Here the travelers are!" It was wonderful... and we spent the morning quilting and chatting. We each have our four big blocks and small sashing done and on Tuesday we'll put on the 3" sashing and then be ready for the backing. When it's all done I'll post a picture of the finished product; but in the meantime here's a pic of Anna's busy hands.

Less list guilt...

Yesterday Mary had a wonderful brainstorm - rather than make to do lists, make to done lists. She explains it all here, complete with her to done list for the day. So, here's my to done list for today:
-reminded Sophie to take a snack to school
-was rewarded with a smile and a thumbs-up sign
-called Kay at school to tell her Lucy was still sick and would be staying home with me again today
-pushed the button for oven self-cleaning
-scrubbed oven racks clean
-make tofu chili for lunch
-made homemade bread using Charlotte's recipe (see recipe and bread above)
-made parmesan noodles for Lucy
-took some chili and bread over to Charlotte to have for supper
-cleaned the microwave
-spent 45 minutes on the phone trying to get people paid for writing project stuff
-spent 20 minutes before the phone call fretting about it and trying to figure out a more efficient system for getting people paid
-returned a phone call to one of the teachers who hasn't been paid
-spoke to the librarian's assistant about the fact that fourth graders can only check out books once/week (silly rule as far as I'm concerned) and asked about policy to not let kids check out books if they talk during library time (another silly rule, my opinion)
-made note to myself that I need to talk to the librarian about this on Monday
-confirmed parents who will read to K-3rd graders every morning before school, shared the list with the teacher at the school who is in charge of this
-thanked Anna for picking up 16 cool glass snack plates/cups for $25 at the Arc
-took those same 16 snack plates/cups to Theresa's for her desert night next week (she'll have to wash them - ha!)
-emailed reminders to writing project book club members
-shared a bakery caramel roll with Theresa
-dropped off Sophie's violin to be restrung
-just remembered that I need to pick up the violin
.... to be continued later (after I pick up the violin!)

Music to Hug By...

On Saturday night Dave and I were in the kitchen doing last-minute prep for dinner company. I was in the mood for some music and asked him to put in the Archies CD a friend burned for the kids. I was a little surprised (knowing Dave and all his conservative Republicanness) when the Dixie Chicks started playing instead of the Archies. I didn't tell him of his mistake - just enjoyed the music and the little joke played on him.

But when my favorite song came on, the one that makes me think of Dave every single time I hear it, tears came to my eyes. The refrain is just so perfect for the two of us:

and i come to find a refuge in the
easy silence that you make for me
it's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
and the peaceful quiet you create for me
and the way you keep the world at bay for me
the way you keep the world at bay

So, I went over to where he was cutting up some cheese, wrapped my arms around him and told him that he put in the Dixie Chicks instead of the Archies (he stiffened at that) but that this particular song reminds me of him. He laughed, turned around and saw the tears in my eyes. He didn't say a word, not a single word, just kept hugging me and the moment was perfect.

The entire lyrics can be found here, but really, you need to listen to the whole song and then go out and buy the CD because it's just that good.

Dog Crazy

We almost came home with a dog on Thursday - the closet we've ever been. It all started with a visit to the pet store while Lucy was in ballet. Once there Sophie and I fell in love with a black and caramel English Springer Mix - she was absolutely beautiful and cuddly and so happy to be held. The minute I picked her up she started "talking" to me in the way only dogs can and it just felt like this dog was ours to take home. After a call to Dave he reluctantly brought John over so we could "rub" him down with the dog dander and saliva and watch carefully to see if he broke out. All was looking well - after 15 minutes there was a little tiny redness around his right eye, but not much at all. At that point I spoke with the owner of the pet store, explained our situation and John's allergies, and he agreed to let us take Cora (that was her name) home with us until Monday. If John broke out we'd bring her back but all fingers were crossed that he'd be fine. That took another 10 minutes and while we talked John and Sophie picked out a leash. Lucy danced away not knowing that a dog was so very close to our future. Then I noticed John rubbing his neck where Cora had snuggled. He insisted he'd been itchy before. I, of course, chose to believe him but still talked to him about allergy shots and promised I'd go with him every week if we needed to get them; I'm allergic to dogs too.

We picked Lucy up from ballet and walked her down to meet Cora - she was thrilled. Everything was confirmed with the owner - I'd drop the kids off at school on Friday and then come pick up Cora. It was set.

But then we got home - approximately 45 minutes after John first rubbed up with Cora. I looked at John and one of his eyes was almost completely swollen shut and he was itching away. With tears in my eyes I rounded the kids up and said we couldn't do it, we just couldn't do it. Sophie, of course, sobbed and sobbed. John said, "Why did God make me like dogs so much if I'm allergic?" Lucy, not as involved in all the original drama and anticipation, looked sad but then danced away. I called the owner back, full of apologies for wasting his time and for getting so attached to Cora already. He was very understanding but I don't know how he'll act if I ever enter his store again.

So there's our dog story for the week. Sophie's still upset about it - yesterday she told me she's going to get two dogs when she grows up, one for every dog we've looked at and hold and think about buying. I told her we'd better stop doing this to ourselves - more importantly, I better stop doing this to the kids. I told her I thought it best we don't go into another pet store for a really long time and that I better quit looking in the classifieds for the perfect dog. You see, I think we already found the perfect dog but we're just not the perfect family for her.

Wetting the bed

John's so logical - a lot like his dad. Yesterday I was making his bed up after yet another night of bedwetting and I was talking to him about it. The conversation went something like this:

John, you really need to try and wake up and get yourself to the bathroom. Maybe we should try without pullups. Do you think other Kindergartners wear pullups?

Of course they do Mom.

Why's that?

Well if I wear pullups and I'm in Kindergarten then Kindergartners must wear pullups.

I just cracked up.

It's all in the name....

John's been having a hard time remembering people's names - he started Kindergarten on Monday and each night at supper resorts to telling stories about his new friends. But instead of telling us their names, he describes what they were wearing or what their hair looks like. You know, the boy who was sitting beside me and was wearing the black shirt. or The one with the spiky hair.

The same thing for some of the teachers. He couldn't remember the gym teacher's name (Mrs. Chase) so Lucy finally said, "John, it's Chase, like chase the ball." He seemed to make the connection.

But last night at supper he was talking about going to gym and the fact the teacher wasn't there, great narration but he got her name wrong. He called her "Mrs. Sweat."

How sweet.

Shoe Shopping

This is probably one of my most dreaded "back-to-school" shopping experiences. Where have the days gone when a friendly shoe salesman with a polyester tie and greased back hair would patiently measure your foot, take hold of the shoe of your dreams and then disappear into the backroom. A few minutes later he'd appear with three or four boxes, all a variety of sizes and proceed to slip the shoe on your foot and even tie it up. After instructing you to get up and walk around a bit ("How's that feel?") he'd gaze intently, making sure they fit properly. In the meantime, Mom would sit beside us and when we were satisfied with a shoe she'd gently press down on the toe, just to make sure.

Well those days are definitely gone. The airy shops filled with shoes and shoe sundries have mostly been replaced with carved out little corners in Kohl's or Target or Sears. The salesperson has been replaced with a colorful rubber mat that is worn from hundreds of kids placing their grimy little feet over the foot on the mat to see what size they are. There's isn't such a thing as an organized back room, instead there are shelves upon shelves of shoes that are scattered haphazardly. You want that New Balance shoe, well it might be underneath the display model but more likely it's three or four shoe spots down, hiding out in the back. It's an "every person for themself" type of mentality - the aisles filled with glossy-eyed parents pushing strollers and tugging along one, two or more kids.

Last night it was enough to give me a headache - even though Mom was with to help. We left Kohl's without any luck and all I wanted to do was go home and have a drink. But she perservered and said, "Imagine how this would be without help!" Good point Mom. So to Sears we went. It's never busy in their shoe department and in one little corner, there's actually two benches almost side by side. She took John and I was in charge of Sophie and Lucy. After 30 minutes of trying on shoes and the last minute "toe check" by Mom we managed - everyone was happy but I don't think anyone was as happy as me. Afterall, I shouldn't need to go through this for at least another two months. I hope.

A New Adventure - Quilting with Anna & Caprice

A few weeks ago Anna came over with a few brochures and an uncontainable excitement - her proposition was that each Tuesday the two of us travel to a small town about a half hour away and quilt all day. I was game - there's something about quilting that has always fascinated me even though I'm not much of a sewer. (Or should I say seamstress?) We talked to another friend, Caprice, and she might join us on our weekly excursions.

I've already learned a lot - for example, the pattern we'll be doing is called Flying Geese, there's something called a sash that frames each block and I think I now know what it means to cut on the diagonal. Although I haven't purchased any quilting books, there's a children's book by Gail Gibbons called The Quilting Bee (see book excerpt above) that might be right up my alley for learning more about the history of quilting.

We went fabric shopping yesterday and after looking through at least 15 reams (again, is that the right word?!?!) I went with the first fabric I'd picked out and three totally different ones. Anna, on the other hand, had her fabric picked out within 10 minutes and it looks beautiful. My fabric is on the right side of the picture, Anna's on the left.

I must say it was pretty relaxing - I left home with a headache and arrived back headache free. Maybe this is a new kind of therapy... who knew!

Treehouse Lazy

One afternoon last week I took a blanket and placed it on the treehouse floor and settled in to look at the sky and the clouds and the variety of spiderwebs adorning the walls and roof. Soon, I was joined by Sophie, then Lucy and finally John - the cuddles and murmurings lasted long into the lazy afternoon. The sun, the warm kids, the soft blanket - how wonderful.

Unique Gift Store

Check out this website - I love the pendants and bracelets made from old typewriter keys and the baby blankets inscribed with poetry.

Paper or Plastic?

In my desire to help the environment, I've decided to use canvas bags for all my shopping needs. That way there are a few less bags heading to the landfill. My trouble has been that I have an assortment of 6 bags that are in the car but whenever I go into a store I forget them. And once I'm in Leevers with three kids, I'm highly unlikely to drag the entourage back out to the car and retrieve them.

But I'm proud to say that the other night I finally remembered! Unfortunately, the check-out experience did not start out well. The conversation went like this...

Me: I've got these bags to use, where would be the easiest place to put them so we can bag the groceries?
Clerk: [sigh] You can bag them yourself, otherwise you need to wait until I ring every thing up and then I'll start bagging them.
Me: OK, I can bag, let me empty the cart first. (As I empty, I notice a box of cereal has been opened, so I tell her I don't want it. Another big sigh as she takes it from me.) Um, can someone get me another one, or should I run get it?
Clerk: Go get it, this is going to take awhile. (As I turn to leave I see another clerk has come to help her start bagging. This clerk smiles and says, "You have your own bags -what should I put in them first? The vegetables?" I nod and say that would be great and run off to the cereal aisle.)

By the time I get back the original clerk has done a complete 360 - no more attitude, no more sighs and both clerks are smiling. The second clerk says, "More and more people are bringing in their own bags, I think it's a wonderful idea." The first clerk comments that she always asks for paper instead of plastic because she reuses them for all sorts of things. We all helped finish bagging and at the end the first clerk gave me a smile and said, "Have a great night!"

So, what happened in the few minutes I ran to get the new box of cereal? Obviously something did, the change in the clerk's attitude was vastly improved when I came back. I'm not sure what was said, but it was done in a way that didn't make the clerk mad, but let her see that it was, in fact, important to be respectful of the choices people make. I applaud the woman who stepped in to bag groceries and the way she handled the situation... if only all bosses and co-workers could do the same.

Life Changes

For the past year I've been trying to focus on what really makes us happy - us as in me, Dave, Sophie, Lucy and John. For too many years we sent out Christmas letters describing all the changes in our lives and truly thought it was normal - doesn't everybody get a Ph.D., experience a devastating flood, have a baby, change jobs, buy a lake cabin, and travel around the world in a single year? Or do they?

As our family went from two to five we didn't slow down until finally, last year, Dave and I had a long talk and figured out that things had to, needed to, change. One phrase I'll never forget from that conversation was, "If you're not happy in your job, you need to make some changes that will make you happy." When he told me that, it was freeing - I was happy when I was teaching and when I advised students knowing they knew I actually cared about them and their decisions, but I wasn't happy with the politics of the institution, the grading of papers, the students who didn't take their work seriously yet always expected an "A" in the course. I wasn't happy trying to balance the needs of three children eight and under as well as my husband with the needs of boatloads of undergraduate and graduate students and, finally, my own needs. I think Dave was a little surprised with my decision to quit, but he's been fully supportive and, as he's seen our lives become less stressful, appreciative.

I know this isn't a decision that everyone can afford - either mentally or monetarily - and I, after years of feeling torn between stay-at-home moms and working moms, would never judge another on his/her decision. We all do the best we can - and that is what counts. But please do take some time today and think about what you can do in your life to ensure you're happy - because as my brother-in-law says, "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy."

Hockey Camp

Last summer our neighbor gave John two hockey bags full of gear his college-aged sons had outgrown; since then John has been determined to be a hockey player. It doesn't matter what the outside temperature is - whether it's 95 degrees or barely above zero - you can always find him all geared up practicing his game. He looks good - and has studied players enough to know how they should look... the socks, the shin pads, the breezers, the jersey, and the stick. In the summer he even pulls his socks down over his shoes and pretends they are his skates. He's definitely got the look down, the talent, well... not so much.

He's been going to "hockey camp" every day this week from 12-1:15 and loving it. As soon as we drop the girls off at art camp (at 9:30) he asks if it's time for hockey camp and I patiently (more often than impatiently, I'm proud to say) tell him that it'll be in a a few hours, right after lunch.

Wednesday was the first time I took him to camp and it was pretty neat to see him geared up and actually skating on the ice. He looked pretty funny though - everything he wore was way too big and after two down-and-backs his breezers slid down way past his butt. One of the coaches smiled, skated up to John, knelt on the ice and tightened them back up. Today, with some on-the-phone coaching from Dave, tried to get the breezers tighter and thought I did a pretty good job, but I was wrong. They were falling down before the skate around was over and his jersey kept falling out so it looked like he was wearing a red dress. It's a good thing Dave will be with us tomorrow - maybe John will stand a fighting chance against the battle with the breezers.

The neat thing is that John is all smiles about hockey - he's a trooper and doesn't give up, even with other fiveyear and six-year-olds skating circles around him. Each day he tells us that he's going to skate even harder than the day before... and I tell you what, he's one sweaty little boy when he gets off the ice. He's got determination and confidence, and that's all that counts.

So I think we're in this hockey thing for the long haul - Dave best be getting over to Play It Again Sports and getting John some equipment that actually fits. He can save this gear for when he's 14, maybe by then it'll fit him.

Being the Oldest - is it the best?

Lately I've been struggling with what I'm seeing as favoritism - even though I'm trying to be rationale about it. Perhaps it comes from being the third of four children and never getting to "do" something first, but I've found that I'm worrying about this with our children. It seems that the oldest child always gets everything first. I'm not worried about normal experiences, but the big ones in life: like getting to go to Papa's cabin. Sophie first went three years ago - all by herself with Dave. She got to go because she was 1) over five years old (Papa's rule) and 2) could read chapter books (Dave's rule). So for two years she went and and experienced cabin life all by herself with Dave and Papa. Lucy got to go this year because she met all the requirements - but she didn't get to be all by herself and have the same experience as Sophie. It's not that I think her experience would be the same, I know it wouldn't be. But she'd have the feeling of being the only child with Papa and Dave. I wondered about this before the trip but during the trip I saw that it was fine - she was excited and happy to be there and have Sophie show her around the island.

I've been having the same thoughts during the past few days - this time about the Harry Potter phenomena. My rule is that the kids can start reading the books, if interested, the summer before third grade. My reasoning is by that time they are proficient readers and mature enough to handle the plot and theme. I know a lot of parents who read the books aloud to their children, but I'm not comfortable with doing that just yet. So, already, I've been telling myself that next summer when Lucy starts reading the books I should go back and start them over again so we can talk about them the same way Sophie and I did. And then, when it's John's turn, do the same. That's fine, I'll enjoy doing it, but what about the release party and all they hype that went with it?

I seriously considered not taking Sophie because I knew that Lucy and John wouldn't ever be able to experience the same thing - that there won't ever be any more release parties for a new Harry Potter book. But then again, why deprive Sophie of the release party? You know what I chose in the end (see previous entry), and I'm glad I did. There was so much fun and joy on that night - it was wonderful to sit back and watch how excited she and Grace were about the Harry Potter books - it's a memory I won't ever forget. But will Lucy and John be able to enjoy this same type of hype, this love for a character and his adventures? Should I save all the newspaper clippings, the Internet articles, the memorabilia and try to recreate it for them when they're older? I know that would be rather silly and I try to tell myself that something like this will come along for them as they're older. But then again, I'm not so sure we'll ever have another J.K. Rowling in our lifetimes.

But maybe I need to console myself with the thought that each of us goes through life generating our own love and excitement - for Sophie it just happens to be reading. For Lucy it might be something else, and John something entirely different from both of them. So maybe I should quit worrying about this - we all do the best we can and the best Dave and I can do is nurture the kids and their interests. Maybe Lucy won't even want to read Harry Potter but will turn to historical fiction or a hobby entirely different from reading - maybe gardening. John the same thing - at this point all we see and hear from him are pirates and hockey. There we go - I guess it is just best to take each day at a time and not worry about the future because each of us will make our way. In the meantime, I watch Lucy and John and see how happy they are with what they have - the knowledge that sooner or later they'll get to read the Harry Potter books and watch the movies and, for now, they've got some great Harry Potter glasses.

Magical Midnight

Yes - you guessed it - Sophie and I attended a release party for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Out of the three parties in town we chose the one at Barnes and Noble for two reasons:

1) Marie, the organizer, is a wonderful person and always such a big help to me when I order books for the RRVWP and 2) it started at 9 pm vs. 10 pm and I thought maybe we'd be home in bed by 10 or so. I was wrong by 2 1/2 hours.

Early on Friday Sophie's friend Grace came over and they made plans for the big event - Sophie decided that she even though she'd like to dress as Hermoine, she looked more like Professor McGonegal and Grace decided to spray her blonde hair red and be Ron. They raided the Halloween costume box, came up with wands and there we were. At one point Sophie was even digging through the drawers in our bedroom looking for something for me to wear but I put a stop to that rather quickly.

We arrived at the party at 9:10 and it was already full of muggles - there were some wizards scattered around and one dementer, but mostly muggles. Yvette, Grace's mom, joined us shortly after and we chased after the girls as they went from year to year completing the activities and shouting out answers to the trivia questions that periodically sounded from the PA system. Around Year 5, we ran into Juliette and Oliver and from then on Juliette, Grace and Sophie were a team, trying to find the Snitch and following around Snape to see what he was up to. In the meantime, Yvette, Laurie, and I drank our butterbeers and chatted in the Great Hall.

Since we already had a book coming in the mail early Saturday morning (Thanks Jodi the mail carrier!) I thought we would get out of there before midnight, but Sophie convinced me otherwise because she thought maybe Harry Potter himself would show up and pass out the books. That didn't happen and by 12:30, we were in the car, yawning and reliving the favorite parts of the night.

Now it's Monday and neither one of us is done with the book - we're taking turns reading it. Sophie reads two chapters and then gives it to me so I can read two chapters, etc... But as she is such an early riser, she gets a huge headstart on me in the mornings and is only pages away from finishing; me, I'm only on chapter 15. But I'll get there - maybe even by tonight.