Life Changes

For the past year I've been trying to focus on what really makes us happy - us as in me, Dave, Sophie, Lucy and John. For too many years we sent out Christmas letters describing all the changes in our lives and truly thought it was normal - doesn't everybody get a Ph.D., experience a devastating flood, have a baby, change jobs, buy a lake cabin, and travel around the world in a single year? Or do they?

As our family went from two to five we didn't slow down until finally, last year, Dave and I had a long talk and figured out that things had to, needed to, change. One phrase I'll never forget from that conversation was, "If you're not happy in your job, you need to make some changes that will make you happy." When he told me that, it was freeing - I was happy when I was teaching and when I advised students knowing they knew I actually cared about them and their decisions, but I wasn't happy with the politics of the institution, the grading of papers, the students who didn't take their work seriously yet always expected an "A" in the course. I wasn't happy trying to balance the needs of three children eight and under as well as my husband with the needs of boatloads of undergraduate and graduate students and, finally, my own needs. I think Dave was a little surprised with my decision to quit, but he's been fully supportive and, as he's seen our lives become less stressful, appreciative.

I know this isn't a decision that everyone can afford - either mentally or monetarily - and I, after years of feeling torn between stay-at-home moms and working moms, would never judge another on his/her decision. We all do the best we can - and that is what counts. But please do take some time today and think about what you can do in your life to ensure you're happy - because as my brother-in-law says, "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy."