Being the Oldest - is it the best?

Lately I've been struggling with what I'm seeing as favoritism - even though I'm trying to be rationale about it. Perhaps it comes from being the third of four children and never getting to "do" something first, but I've found that I'm worrying about this with our children. It seems that the oldest child always gets everything first. I'm not worried about normal experiences, but the big ones in life: like getting to go to Papa's cabin. Sophie first went three years ago - all by herself with Dave. She got to go because she was 1) over five years old (Papa's rule) and 2) could read chapter books (Dave's rule). So for two years she went and and experienced cabin life all by herself with Dave and Papa. Lucy got to go this year because she met all the requirements - but she didn't get to be all by herself and have the same experience as Sophie. It's not that I think her experience would be the same, I know it wouldn't be. But she'd have the feeling of being the only child with Papa and Dave. I wondered about this before the trip but during the trip I saw that it was fine - she was excited and happy to be there and have Sophie show her around the island.

I've been having the same thoughts during the past few days - this time about the Harry Potter phenomena. My rule is that the kids can start reading the books, if interested, the summer before third grade. My reasoning is by that time they are proficient readers and mature enough to handle the plot and theme. I know a lot of parents who read the books aloud to their children, but I'm not comfortable with doing that just yet. So, already, I've been telling myself that next summer when Lucy starts reading the books I should go back and start them over again so we can talk about them the same way Sophie and I did. And then, when it's John's turn, do the same. That's fine, I'll enjoy doing it, but what about the release party and all they hype that went with it?

I seriously considered not taking Sophie because I knew that Lucy and John wouldn't ever be able to experience the same thing - that there won't ever be any more release parties for a new Harry Potter book. But then again, why deprive Sophie of the release party? You know what I chose in the end (see previous entry), and I'm glad I did. There was so much fun and joy on that night - it was wonderful to sit back and watch how excited she and Grace were about the Harry Potter books - it's a memory I won't ever forget. But will Lucy and John be able to enjoy this same type of hype, this love for a character and his adventures? Should I save all the newspaper clippings, the Internet articles, the memorabilia and try to recreate it for them when they're older? I know that would be rather silly and I try to tell myself that something like this will come along for them as they're older. But then again, I'm not so sure we'll ever have another J.K. Rowling in our lifetimes.

But maybe I need to console myself with the thought that each of us goes through life generating our own love and excitement - for Sophie it just happens to be reading. For Lucy it might be something else, and John something entirely different from both of them. So maybe I should quit worrying about this - we all do the best we can and the best Dave and I can do is nurture the kids and their interests. Maybe Lucy won't even want to read Harry Potter but will turn to historical fiction or a hobby entirely different from reading - maybe gardening. John the same thing - at this point all we see and hear from him are pirates and hockey. There we go - I guess it is just best to take each day at a time and not worry about the future because each of us will make our way. In the meantime, I watch Lucy and John and see how happy they are with what they have - the knowledge that sooner or later they'll get to read the Harry Potter books and watch the movies and, for now, they've got some great Harry Potter glasses.