Being the Oldest - is it the best?

Lately I've been struggling with what I'm seeing as favoritism - even though I'm trying to be rationale about it. Perhaps it comes from being the third of four children and never getting to "do" something first, but I've found that I'm worrying about this with our children. It seems that the oldest child always gets everything first. I'm not worried about normal experiences, but the big ones in life: like getting to go to Papa's cabin. Sophie first went three years ago - all by herself with Dave. She got to go because she was 1) over five years old (Papa's rule) and 2) could read chapter books (Dave's rule). So for two years she went and and experienced cabin life all by herself with Dave and Papa. Lucy got to go this year because she met all the requirements - but she didn't get to be all by herself and have the same experience as Sophie. It's not that I think her experience would be the same, I know it wouldn't be. But she'd have the feeling of being the only child with Papa and Dave. I wondered about this before the trip but during the trip I saw that it was fine - she was excited and happy to be there and have Sophie show her around the island.

I've been having the same thoughts during the past few days - this time about the Harry Potter phenomena. My rule is that the kids can start reading the books, if interested, the summer before third grade. My reasoning is by that time they are proficient readers and mature enough to handle the plot and theme. I know a lot of parents who read the books aloud to their children, but I'm not comfortable with doing that just yet. So, already, I've been telling myself that next summer when Lucy starts reading the books I should go back and start them over again so we can talk about them the same way Sophie and I did. And then, when it's John's turn, do the same. That's fine, I'll enjoy doing it, but what about the release party and all they hype that went with it?

I seriously considered not taking Sophie because I knew that Lucy and John wouldn't ever be able to experience the same thing - that there won't ever be any more release parties for a new Harry Potter book. But then again, why deprive Sophie of the release party? You know what I chose in the end (see previous entry), and I'm glad I did. There was so much fun and joy on that night - it was wonderful to sit back and watch how excited she and Grace were about the Harry Potter books - it's a memory I won't ever forget. But will Lucy and John be able to enjoy this same type of hype, this love for a character and his adventures? Should I save all the newspaper clippings, the Internet articles, the memorabilia and try to recreate it for them when they're older? I know that would be rather silly and I try to tell myself that something like this will come along for them as they're older. But then again, I'm not so sure we'll ever have another J.K. Rowling in our lifetimes.

But maybe I need to console myself with the thought that each of us goes through life generating our own love and excitement - for Sophie it just happens to be reading. For Lucy it might be something else, and John something entirely different from both of them. So maybe I should quit worrying about this - we all do the best we can and the best Dave and I can do is nurture the kids and their interests. Maybe Lucy won't even want to read Harry Potter but will turn to historical fiction or a hobby entirely different from reading - maybe gardening. John the same thing - at this point all we see and hear from him are pirates and hockey. There we go - I guess it is just best to take each day at a time and not worry about the future because each of us will make our way. In the meantime, I watch Lucy and John and see how happy they are with what they have - the knowledge that sooner or later they'll get to read the Harry Potter books and watch the movies and, for now, they've got some great Harry Potter glasses.

Magical Midnight

Yes - you guessed it - Sophie and I attended a release party for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Out of the three parties in town we chose the one at Barnes and Noble for two reasons:

1) Marie, the organizer, is a wonderful person and always such a big help to me when I order books for the RRVWP and 2) it started at 9 pm vs. 10 pm and I thought maybe we'd be home in bed by 10 or so. I was wrong by 2 1/2 hours.

Early on Friday Sophie's friend Grace came over and they made plans for the big event - Sophie decided that she even though she'd like to dress as Hermoine, she looked more like Professor McGonegal and Grace decided to spray her blonde hair red and be Ron. They raided the Halloween costume box, came up with wands and there we were. At one point Sophie was even digging through the drawers in our bedroom looking for something for me to wear but I put a stop to that rather quickly.

We arrived at the party at 9:10 and it was already full of muggles - there were some wizards scattered around and one dementer, but mostly muggles. Yvette, Grace's mom, joined us shortly after and we chased after the girls as they went from year to year completing the activities and shouting out answers to the trivia questions that periodically sounded from the PA system. Around Year 5, we ran into Juliette and Oliver and from then on Juliette, Grace and Sophie were a team, trying to find the Snitch and following around Snape to see what he was up to. In the meantime, Yvette, Laurie, and I drank our butterbeers and chatted in the Great Hall.

Since we already had a book coming in the mail early Saturday morning (Thanks Jodi the mail carrier!) I thought we would get out of there before midnight, but Sophie convinced me otherwise because she thought maybe Harry Potter himself would show up and pass out the books. That didn't happen and by 12:30, we were in the car, yawning and reliving the favorite parts of the night.

Now it's Monday and neither one of us is done with the book - we're taking turns reading it. Sophie reads two chapters and then gives it to me so I can read two chapters, etc... But as she is such an early riser, she gets a huge headstart on me in the mornings and is only pages away from finishing; me, I'm only on chapter 15. But I'll get there - maybe even by tonight.

Back Trouble

Ahhhh, basements and house projects - they've finally succeeded in trashing my back. Friday morning, forty-five minutes after waking I realized I was in serious trouble as I couldn't move without crying out in pain. It was the morning after I finished pulling up the basement carpet and tried to scrape carpet glue off the floor, it was the day after Dave left me alone with the kids while he traveled to Estonia and it was four days before my workshop for the Red River Valley Writing Project, Authors as Mentors, was to start. We survived the day - I took Advil and tylenol and wrapped packs of ice around my back. We went to Bernadette's and as the kids played in the pool, I sat in the jacuzzi tub with hot, hot water and jets blowing on my back.

We survived Saturday too - starting with a giant get well card from the kids and with more Advil and ice packs. By afternoon I switched to my leftover pain pills from my foot surgery. Michelle picked up some groceries for me. Still lots of pain - but we survived. I figured it had to be better by Sunday morning.

By Sunday morning when I still wasn't any better I called my mother-in-law to see if she could watch the kids. She said yes, that she'd be there as soon as she could. I hung up the phone and burst into tears. My babysitter for the week cancelled because of an unexpected death in her family. Bev took the kids, I got some muscle relaxants from my doctor, and Kim took all my stuff and said she'd do the first day of the workshop - not to worry. I slept and slept.

Monday I got out of bed in 10 minutes versus the 30 minutes from Sunday and the 45+ from Saturday. Carmyn and Pam brought me pizza and filled me in on the morning workshop. Theresa took the kids for the entire day and I rested. Nicole came through for babysitting - I'm set for the rest of the week.

Now it's Tuesday and I'm a little better; I didn't even time how long it took me to get out of bed into a standing position but know it was less than ten minutes. I taught the workshop this morning (even on the muscle relaxants) and came home and slept while the kids watched Scooby Doo. Dave is back in the states - and should be home in a couple hours. I plan on resting, resting, resting. Thank goodness for family and friends - thank you everyone.

DeSmet, South Dakota - 9 hours of Laura Ingalls Wilder

Our first stop on the Laura Ingalls Wilder tour was to DeSmet - home to Laura and her family in the books On the Shores of Silver Lake and The Long Winter. After lunch at the local DQ, the kids changed into their outfits and we started our guided tour with The Surveyor's House. It was actually owned by the railrooad but the Ingalls family stayed in it each winter, in exchange for keeping careful watch over the railroad tools.

When Laura first saw this house she thought it was the largest house she ever saw - it just goes to show how much we take for granted nowadays. The part they lived in was probably a two-story version of our kitchen and breakfast nook area - on the main floor it included a room that held the stove, a rocking chair, and a table and chairs. Off that room was a pantry the size of a small rectangular walk-in closet, the attic stairway, and Ma and Pa's bedroom they shared with Carrie. The upstairs was one big room the same size as the main floor; that's where Mary and Laura slept. At times Ma rented out sleeping space for men at $0.25 a night (meals were an extra $0.25) and up to 20 men sometimes slept in the main living area. I can't imagine the noise and smell in the house on those nights.

From the Surveyor's House, we walked a few steps to a replica of a one-room school house and then to the real school house which is still being restored after serving as a private home for many years. The kids enjoyed being the teacher and looking for clues about the past on the partially restored chalkboard.

They were so good on the tour - listening so very carfefully to the leader as she told about the house and life on the prairie. In retrospect, we should have got into the car and drove the few blocks to the later home of Charles, Caroline, Mary, Grace and Carrie - they were in such a listening and "taking it all in" mode. Instead, we had them run over to the Discover Laura Center. They loved everything in this place - from the old fashioned stove and food center, to the quill pens and slates, to the old fashioned sewing machine and to the braille station where they made their names out of a braille guide, glue and split peas. Everything was completely hands-on and they were excited. The curator of the museum also came and had them make butter out of cream and a whole lot of shaking. They had a great snack of saltines and hand-shook butter.

The next stop was the Ingalls home I previously mentioned - as the kids were so used to touching everything, this was a little harder. They were, by now, out of listening mode and into exploration. Needless, to say, we didn't stay too long here.

By this time, it was 5 pm and the pageant (play) didn't start until 9 - so we decided to drive around a bit. We ended up at a place we didn't even know about - the Homestead - and stayed there until it closed at 9 pm. This was a huge hit - total exploration and discovery for the kids. They experienced everything from pumping well water, carrying it up the hill, washing clothes, making rope and corn cob dolls (like Laura's Susan), and riding in a covered wagon to a school house for a short lesson. I think they could have stayed there even longer, except they closed at 9.

It'd been a long day so we decided to skip the pageant (after explaining to Evie and Sophie that we already had tickets for Saturday's pageant and there was no way we'd change our minds or miss it) and headed back to the DQ for some supper and ice cream. What a wonderful, but exhausting, day... the next stop on Saturday, Walnut Grove.

Cousins

There's something so very wonderful about seeing our kids playing with their cousins - Sophie, Lucy and John get positively giddy whenever they know we're going to be with cousins. This goes for them all - from Ashleigh, Amy and Katie who are in college down to Gracie and Nate who are three and one. The neat thing is there are so many cousins (24) and the kids have memories of each in their own way - some have stayed with us for a week at a time and there are the "going to bed" and "waking up" with one another memories while others we just plain see more often because of proximity.

Whenever we visit relatives with kids, it's absolutely guaranteed we won't see our children until toward the end of the stay. They give the proper hugs and kisses to aunts and uncles but then immediately grab the hand of one of the cousins and take off outdoors or to the playrooms. As a general rule, there's no fighting and usually, yes just usually, they don't get into trouble. There was that one episode with a disposable camera - when Dave picked up the pictures from developing he was mortified to discover the kids in suggestive poses, and thankful they didn't ask any questions. But, as I said, there usually isn't any trouble.

So, here we are in Brookings, Sourth Dakota - Laura Ingalls Wilder land - with Roxy, Evie, Jesse and Betsy. Roxy made prairie dresses, complete with aprons and bonnets for the girls and I made some knickers (by cutting off Goodwill pants and putting elastic in them) and got shirts, suspenders and straw hats for the boys. We're pretty excited for our four day adventure with Roxy and our cousins. In fact, Sophie summed it all up right before we left Grand Forks to meet up with Roxy and the kids. It'd been hectic getting to the car and there was some bickering. Once we were in the car Sophie said, "Don't worry Mom, we never fight when we're with Evie, Jesse and Betsy." The best thing is - she's right.

Procrastination, continued (or How Not to Sew...)

This picture illustrates all the sewing projects I, with the help of the kids on the quilt, have finished since yesterday at 8 am. Because the rest of the house is so trashed you'll notice there aren't any pictures of any rooms in the house. In fact to find clean space on the floor on which to lay out the sewing projects so I could take a picture, I had to move from the dining room to the living room. But, the good news is I got much more comfortable with my sewing machine. Here's a summary of the various sewing "happenings" at our house in the last 24 hours.

Project 1: Baby Doll Quilt (or you can call it a pillow if you'd prefer)
Lucy picked out the fabric from 10-year old leftover pieces and Sophie and Lucy created the design on the floor. I then used the mat and cutter to cut the 30 5" squares and then taught Sophie and Lucy to sew the individual pieces together. When we got a row down, they started on the next, etc... Then I sewed the rows together to form the "face" of the quilt. Lucy picked out the back fabric and we cut it out, along with the batting. I then put the "right sides" of the front and back together and sewed all four sides, leaving a small opening in which to draw it through. My thought was we could then handsew the opening.

Unfortunately, I sewed the batting to the "face" of the quilt, so that when it got pulled through there was a nice plaid backing and batting for the fact of the quilt. Oops - I called it quits for a few hours and then got out the seam ripper and went to town on tearing out all four sides of the quilt.

Fortunately I didn't give up like I usually do at this point; I even laughed out loud. OK, you're right - first I let go with a string of expletives (all quietly muttered) and then laughed. This morning I finished up the quilt - this time I gave up on the idea of sewing the batting in. Rather, I sewed all around the quilt, left a small opening and then stuffed the batting in. Then I taught Lucy how to hand sew the opening shut - but we didn't get very far before I decided we'd use the sewing machine to finish the job. Finally, I used embroidery thread and pulled it through to hold the batting in place. Voila! A quilt, or pillow, for baby dolls and the girls have a hunger for sewing.

Project 2,3,4: Bags for Sophie, Lucy and John
While I was drinking my coffee this morning, Sophie (all by herself) made a small purse for Lucy (pic on left) and I thought - "Hey, she's on to something." So I then took a turn at it. This time, I carefully thought it through and did lots of somewhat-straight line sewing to make some handy-dandy bags. After John saw Sophie and Lucy's he wanted one so I made one for him - unfortunately, he thinks it looks a rather lot like a purse and was a little disappointed. We'll see if he chooses to take it to our SD car trip with him.

You know I'm unmotivated when...

1. a Lucky Charm "anchor" has sat in the little spot between the fridge and the wall since the last week in May
2. coffe ground leftovers mark the front of the garbage can door and have been there since sometime in May
3. weeds have become the new type of flower in our garden
4. the desk looks as though the mischievious "paper fairy" arrived in the night and threw the papers all around
5. you just expect to step on some playmobil knight or pirate when you say good-night to John
6. the 9 roll toilet paper pack has sat in front of the bathroom sink instead of inside the cupboard for the past few days
7. the kids' bathroom sinks are a strange mixture of orange (grapefruit scented handsoap) and blue (toothpaste)

BUT... instead of taking care of this messy house today Lucy, Sophie and I started sewing a quilt for the baby dolls. If you know me, sewing in itself is highly uncharacteristic but to actually attempt a project instead of a simple button...well, I definitely must be procrastinating... and I am. There's always tomorrow for cleaning, right?!