We're heading for vacation...

While Dad, Dave, Sophie, Lucy and I head 650 miles north to the wilderness and water of Canada, John will stay here with "Big Carmyn." Remember her? She's like a seventh aunt to the kids and a great friend to both Dave and me. All the neighbors have agreed to help her out, have them over for dinner, and provide plenty of playdates.

Dave's rule for the kids being big enough to go to the cabin is that they have to be able to read chapter books - that's why Sophie and Lucy get to go and John stays. This will be Lucy's first time, Sophie's third time, my third time (although the last time I went was before I was pregnant with Sophie), Dave's eighth time and Dad's fortysomething time.

So, unlike this last time, there will be a "real" reason for the blogging hiatus. We will, after all, be staying on an island where there's no human civilization for miles and miles, we bring in all our own supplies (except for the fish we'll be catching and eating) and have no electricity by which to blog. What we do have though is assured rest and relaxation, lots of books to read, and an awesome log cabin to stay in - one that was built by Dad and a host of others (including Dave) over 18 years ago. We're off - next time I see you there'll be lots of pictures of our time "up north at the cabin."

Busy, Busy May

After doing so well for two weeks, I once again took a long hiatus from blogging. I’ll sum everything up here, and then, if you’re interested you can scroll down and take a look at all the pics.
Ballet recitals, end-of-school-year picnics, buying presents for the teachers, wrapping up the art auction by writing ten million thank you notes, Sophie’s 1st communion and confirmation (she and Dave did the readings for it - they were awesome!), attending “same-day” graduation parties of two nephews (one in Willmar, MN and one in Moorhead, MN), Dave traveling to Pennsylvania, Texas, and Fargo, the end of school year itself, helping friends pull up 70’s shag carpet, co-hosting a “Summer’s Here” picnic for the entire neighborhood, forgetting about a dear babysitter's own "baby shower," hosting two bookclubs, and packing up for a six day vacation on a deserted island…whew, those were just a few things that have happened here in the past two weeks.

Unfortunately, none of these events will get the posts they deserve - but at least there'll be a few pics to remember them by.

Coffee Philosophy

Today at my (almost) weekly coffee date with Karen we both found ourselves with tears in our eyes after a simple statement made by a Bolivian acquaintance, Roger. When Karen commented on how often he and his wife Galia have coffee together after dropping off their youngest son at school, he said something like, “But if we don’t, then I don’t get to see her until evening.” The thing is, he was genuine; he was serious – not trying to score points with Galia or Karen. This hit both of us deeply – as evidenced by the tears. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think it is a cultural thing. Some couples just do always seem so “together” - in the manner of love songs even. Are these the people that are soul mates? What defines soul mates from people in love with one another? Are soul mates always soul mates or do they go through rough patches?

Roger's comment reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Jack Johnson, Banana Pancakes. One section is, "…we got everything we need right here. And everything we need is enough. Just so easy when the whole world fits inside of your arms."

Whenever I hear the words, I get all mushy on the inside – the whole world fits inside of your arms. Wouldn’t our world be a better place if that’s what we all reached for, desired in our lives? So, today, take that significant other out for some coffee because you know what, otherwise you won’t get to see him or her until evening.

Happy Mood - thanks, in large part to former students

Last night I had the wonderful opportunity of participating in a book club discussion with three former undergraduate students - what a blast. These three were excellent students - Nate was a student three different semesters, Lindsay for two, and Angie one - and I totally felt like I got to watch them grow up. But, wow, the growth they've undergone in the past year has been amazing to see.

After graduation, all three of them applied for a resident teacher program co-hosted by our university and the school district - and all three of them were accepted. For the past school year, they've held teaching positions at Sophie and Lucy's school: Angie as a Kindergarten teacher, Lindsay in grade one, and Nate in grade two. During their year as resident teachers, they worked alongside an excellent mentor (and former first grade teacher) Jana. (Jana is on the right in the pic above.) The resident teacher program is awesome for first-year teachers as it combines teaching, mentoring, and Masters' study all within a cohort of nine other first-year teachers. I've worked with the program in various capacities since 2001 and can honestly say that the people who come out of the resident teacher program are absolutely some of the very best teachers I've seen.

In March of this year I approached their principal with the idea of hosting a professional book club with teachers from the school. My purposes were two-fold: to help the teachers at the school see what types of professional development the Red River Valley Writing Project can offer and to get teachers engaged in professional discussions about writing. It was a deal he couldn't refuse - I provide my services as book club facilitator, the teachers choose a book that has to do with the teaching of reading and/or writing, the Red River Valley Writing Project pays for the books, and Voila! - professional development occurs for those who are interested.

The school has a small staff so I was hoping for a group of 6-8 people... and honestly I was a little disappointed that four of the six people that signed up were involved with the resident teacher program and the other two were Sophie and Lucy's teachers. I felt like I had, perhaps, forced a hand or two into signing up. That really wasn't my intention, but from the turnout, that's how I felt. I felt better once I talked with them and they choose a book, Writing Essentials by Regie Routman. It wasn't they felt they had to do this because of fear of disappointing me, but because they were anxious for the professional discussion.

Our first meeting was in mid-April - a busy time of year for everyone but almost everyone managed to make it and everyone had read the first half of the book. It was eye-opening to see the three residents talk about curricular issues and classroom practices right alongside veteran teachers. The sharing of ideas was fast and furious and I think we were all surprised when 1 1/2 hours had passed.

Tonight's meeting was just as powerful. At one point Angie was talking about a district-wide assessment writing sample she did with her students today - she was feeling poorly about it because the kids were so used to having choice with their writing (YEAH!) that they were a bit off when given the prompt to write about their favorite memory of Kindergarten. I loved it when Lindsay jumped in to encourage her and spouted off research about how usually it's just the opposite - that kids are so used to being told what to write about that when given a free choice topic, they freeze up. I was soooo proud of them at this moment - and then I looked over at Jana who has helped them in so many ways throughout the year. She deserves so much credit for helping them make the connections between what they learned at the university, their gut feelings, and real-life teaching. It was a great night - more than enough to alleviate my bad mood for a few days!

So, my only question is: why can't we keep them forever?!?!

Bad Mood

I've been in a bad mood for a very long time - so long that I know it can't be due to any hormones (or lack thereof), allergies, or being overtired. I'm afraid it's become part of who I am - a part of me I can certainly live without (and I'm sure Dave feels the same).

So, what kinds of things are bothering me that don't usually create that "C'mon people! Think!" feeling? Rather than bombard you with daily blog entries ranting or raving, I made a List. Here it is, but please read it with caution and know that many of the things on the list don't normally bother me.

1. Sending reminder emails (yes, I know I've already ranted about this one.)
2. Getting calls on my cell phone when most people that actually have that number know I never, ever actually have it on.
3. Business phone calls on the weekend.
4. People using their blinker to make a lane change and then forgetting to turn it off.
5. Barking dogs (OK, you're right, they always bother me.)
6. Making supper - especially when, on any given night, only two people will actually eat it.
7. Washing clothes, drying clothes, folding clothes, and then starting all over the next day.
8. Sneezing twenty times in a row.
9. Peeing my pants after the fourth sneeze.
10. Putting kids' hair up in buns for ballet recital night - no matter how long their hair is I can never get it to stay in for the duration of the recital.
11. People talking during ballet recitals.
12. People texting during ballet recitals.
13. The overabundance of treats, gifts and flowers given to ballet dancers as young as three. (You should have seen some of the presents for the dancers.)
14. People asking for advice but then ignoring it.
15. Trying to find the right change for a babysitter.
16. People who wear fragrant lotion and don't shower before they enter the pool for lap swimming.
17. Cell phones.
18. Salespeople who don't trust you when you say you don't have the receipt but that you can name the date you bought the outfit and know you paid full price for it. (By the way, I did go home, find the sales receipt and did, ultimately, return the blouse and necklace for a total refund of $64 vs. the $32 offered.)
19. People who have made it necessary for stores not to trust their customers.
20. People who are always in a bad mood.

Yep, I know I totally fit that last one. I think I've spent more time apoligizing to people in the last few days than any other activity. I'm trying, I really am, to get out of this funk but am having trouble. So, if you have any "surefire" ways to get out of a bad mood - methods that last more than a few minutes, please let me know. I promise I'll give ALL suggestions a try... well maybe I'll do a little screening of suggestions since I'm sure I know one thing Dave would say to try!

View from the Hammock

I took this picture one morning last week as John and I hung out in the hammock. It reminded me of the following entry from my writer's notebook, dated April 18, 2002:

About a month ago I was walking on campus - hurrying toward the union for a meeting. I looked up and saw the kind of clear blue, bright blue sky that reminds so much of Sedona. Maybe it was the way the red brick buildings met the sky - much like the red rocks and sky converging in Sedona. A lady was walking by, hurrying with downcast eyes. I said, "Isn't the sky beautiful?" She stopped and said, "What?" I said, "Look at the beautiful sky." She paused, eyes towards the heavens for a full five seconds and said, "Thank you, thank you very much." I guess my sister Tori was right when she said you can see "Blue Sedona Skies" right here in North Dakota.

Happy Mother's Day

Things I love about Mom:

1. Her medical advice: Holding my hand and telling me to point my toes together everytime I had to get a kenalog shot in the butt. She still always has advice for us. A few weeks ago when John hurt his foot I called her up and asked her advice. Later John asked, "Is she really a doctor?"

2. Cooking Eccentricities: The way she pushes her tongue to the corner of her mouth when she beats batter by hand.

3. Writing Eccentricities: She has this thing where right before she actually puts pen to paper she "air writes" it - the pen hovers right above the paper and moves in circles. Tori, Roxy and I joked that if she had to write a research paper she'd write it all out in the air first.

4. Cleaning Advice: White vinegar is still the best "all in one" cleaner around.

5. Washing clothes: As soon as you take the laundry out of the dryer (or off the clothesline), you fold it... no ifs, ands, or buts. And if you're folding towels, you'd better do it the proper way!

6. Her Career Advice: Do what makes you happy.

7. Her sense of organization: Create systems that work for you and your life will be easier. (My friends will all attest this is one thing I'm really good at and I know I learned it all from Mom!)

8. Her obvious caring for Dad: Public displays of affection aren't a bad thing - they're just somewhat embarassing to your children.

9. Her independence: She taught me that I needed to learn how to use a screwdriver, a lawn mower, and a paintbrush. Women don't need men to get things done - it's just that it's often more fun to get things done together.

10. Love: Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean you have to agree with him/her on everything.

Glessner Family Traditions

Growing up, my family was never really big on candy; we were (and still are) definitely more dessert people. Give us a pumpkin pie, apple pie, sheetcake brownies, banana bread, or chocolate chip cookies over M&Ms any day. The Glessner family, on the other hand, is all about candy - no family gathering is ever complete without at least one bowl (usually 2-3) of candy.

The first time Dave and I hosted a family event I purchased all the ingredients for the Thanksgiving dinner: potatoes, butter, cream cheese, corn, fresh cranberries, sugar, pecans, pumpkin, Pillsbury pie crusts, evaporated milk, etc... Dave was in charge of purchasing the pop, beer, and the turkey. I was quite surprised when he came home from shopping with five large bags of M&Ms - three plain and two peanut. It hadn't even occurred to me that with the pumpkin and pecan pies I was making we would also need candy. Apparently I hadn't been paying very much attention to Glessner holiday gatherings - there was always candy around. The thing is - you can't take the dessert out of the girl so I still insist on making pies for the family events, only now I've learned no matter how big the gathering is, I only need to make one pie.

So tomorrow when we go to Fargo for Amy's college graduation party I'm sure there will be lots of bowls of candy spread around the house. And next week, when we host everyone for Sophie's first communion I'll make sure to include M&Ms on my grocery list. It's taken me almost 20 years, but I am learning.

It's never too late to start enjoying fiction...

In the almost-twenty years Dave and I have been together I’ve never known him to read a fiction book; in fact I’ve only known him to read a few “business” books along with tons and tons of trade magazines. This isn’t an adult habit, I’m thinking he’s always been this way since the only children’s book he entered into this marriage with was Fabulous Facts about the 50 States. When I was teaching at the university I once started to use him as an example of aliteracy but suddenly realized (as I was talking) that he doesn’t fit the definition at all – it’s just that he reads totally different material than I do and in my biased world I was thinking I was the "better" (as in stereotypical) reader.

Still, imagine my surprise when he went to my office and picked out a fiction book to read, finished it within a few days, chose another one, and has kept going for the past month. In fact, when he recently traveled to Dublin for a business trip he packed his usual trade magazines AND a fiction book.

I don’t know what brought about this change in Dave, but I surmise it might have something to do with seeing how much the rest of his family love books. One night before he left for Dublin the five of us sat around in the family room for a half-hour – each of us with a book in our hands and me with a big smile on my face. It was wonderful – now if I can only get him to go on a Barnes and Noble “date” with me…yeah right, don’t think that’ll be happening anytime soon.

Reminders (Note: This is a rant!)

Yesterday I had a regular (as Carmyn called it) "sh--fit" regarding sending email reminders to people. I refuse to do so but as this refusal has bit me in the butt a few times I guess I should reconsider my stance on email reminders. Just so you know, here’s my stance:

You are a professional. You signed up to be a part of this _____________ (insert one: book club, conference, writing group, committee). Part of your job when you sign up for something is to be a professional – as we know you are. So, for goodness sakes, mark the event down in your calendar. Don’t rely on me, the person who hates sending email, to send you a reminder email about a meeting that you should have written down in your calendar as soon as it was planned. I am not your babysitter; I am not your schedule maker – that is your job. You are a professional.

There, that’s my stance. Apparently, I’m in the minority. It seems the common thought is professionals need to be reminded two, three or even four times. And even then there’s a 50/50 chance they’ll forget about the event. Or, as illustrated by one case that happened last winter, people will think that since they didn’t receive a reminder about the meeting it must have been cancelled so they’ll schedule a lunch date with another committee member during the time of the meeting. Upon being reminded of the meeting, they’ll decide to show up – but will sit at said meeting with arms crossed and pouty faces throughout the entire event. Please don't do this; remember – you are a professional.

I do apologize for all the ranting. I guess I’ll stop now because I need to – guess what – send out a reminder email about an upcoming meeting.

Glory to God and Goliath

One of my favorite parts of church right after Easter is the sprinkling of the waters of baptism throughout the entire congregation followed by the singing of the Gloria. It starts with Glory to God in the highest, sing glory to God. Glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on Earth. There’s something so very powerful about feeling the voices of 300 people reverberate throughout the church. Lately, I’ve particularly enjoyed looking at the kids during the hymns and seeing them singing along.

John’s version of the Gloria is quite a bit different than the intended version. His is Glory to God and Goliath, Sing Glory to God. Now, if you’re Catholic, grew up Catholic, or attend a Catholic church during the Easter season you’ll be able to sing this in your head… and John’s version does closely resemble the real one. Good for him though to be puzzled and wonder why we would praise Goliath, who was (in John’s words) a "bad guy."

In another hymn misinterpretation, my friend Shelby grew up thinking that the entire church congregation was saying her name during certain hymns; it wasn’t until she could read she saw the version people were singing (shall be)and everything finally made sense to her.

What are your examples of songs you've sang all your life only to hear the "real" words later? Post them here so we can all share in the remembering and laughter.

Swimming Again

I did it! Approximately 6 weeks after my foot surgery, I was back at the Y pool for lap swimming. Even though it was only 20 laps, even though my foot felt funny, even though I swam quite gingerly (which most definitely isn't easy to do), it felt wonderful. That, in itself, was a big relief for me. You see, I was nervous about getting back into the pool for two reasons - the obvious one being because I didn't know how my foot would do and I wasn't up for being disappointed in my progress.

The second reason might seem rather odd to some of you - but I seriously did worry about it. It's just that a few weeks ago a lap swimmer died right in the pool while doing his laps. His day more than likely started like all of ours - a little slow, maybe wishing he had time for that second cup of coffee before heading to the Y for swimming, but overall just a normal day. He gets to the Y, checks in and grabs a towel. Once in the pool area he tells the lifeguard good morning, smiles at the swimmer resting up in the lane next to him, slides into the pool, adjusts his goggles and starts off on his warm up laps. At some point in the next 15 minutes things go from being normal to tragic. As he's in the deep end of the pool ready to make his turn he realizes something isn't right - he heads over to the side, trying to pull himself up and out of the water but it's too late. He falls back into the water and sinks. The lifeguard jumps in, three other lap swimmers head over to help and they all get him to the shallow end and out of the pool. But he's already bluish purple, already gone. Even so, the lifeguard starts CPR as others get the defibrillator machine ready. The pool empties, swimmers cry and hug, and the ambulance comes to take him to the hospital to pronounce him dead.

That man died in the pool - not from drowning, but from a heart attack. I don't know his name, I don't know his family but I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. As I recuperated at home, I guiltily felt so very thankful I wasn't at that particular lap swim. I wondered who it was - was it the red speedo guy? The swimmer/walker dude? The kickboard/flipper guy? or the Tshirt man? I know the names of none of these men but I still know them. I know who wears what swimsuit and what his lane of choice is. I know who is good at flip turns and I know who likes to have a silent underwater race with me. I know them each - as a fellow lap swimmer.

I wondered what it would be like to swim in the same pool, possibly even the same lane, touch the same side of the wall as he did as he tried to hoist his body out. Is his spirit still there? It was with me yesterday, as I'm sure it is with all the swimmers who know. It wasn't with me the whole time, not even most of the time, but as I silently slid through the water I remembered him and wished his family well.